A New Month, a New Start

Long time no post! Yesterday was a very disappointing day, the TILT MONSTER came and got me, and my $200 bankroll went from $200 to $2...

Upto that point, things hadn't been going too bad, I was sticking to my strengths (MTT's) and had some decent results on various sites and a few cashouts on pokerstars, which is always nice. I started playing 6 player turbo's again though unfortunately, these have been the bain of my life many times in the past. I was sort of break even in them for a while, then went on a run where I didn't win for a few games, then tried to get my losses back by altering my game which was sort of solid and break even for the most part albeit a fairly small sample, to a more spewy donk type of game, AND THE REST IS HISTORY.

So I am now in the position where I am going to have to deposit again, and go back to playing my solid MTT TAG style poker, which was working but I can't seem to manage to stick to it, from a combination of boredom and lack of a strong mentality. If I can stick to it I can make some money from this game for sure, I am never going to set the world alight with my amazing play and go to the WSOP and win millions, but I would have my place as a steady porofitable poker player. The problem with me is if I don't win for a few days I start panicking and I don't look at the big picture. I work full time, I buy and sell part time, I don't NEED to be winning big money every day on the poker, I should be happy to just grind, enjoy it as a hobby and be happy to be in any sort of profit each month.

We are not quite in August now, but the new month starts NOW, it just seems that it should because of the new start and beginning from rock bottom again. I shall try to update with my progress more often for anyone who still reads this.

THE LAST 8 MONTHS OR SO - Not much has happened, I did have a few months where I hardly played at all and thought that poker may be a thing of the past for me, but you soon get the bug back when you start cashing again when you do eventually get back to playing.

The Elite of European Football

Perpetuum Jazzile

One of my mates introduced me to these, this is a cover of Toto's 'Africa', which I think is terrific! Check out YouTube, they have done some really good stuff... This one is just bonkers:

MTT victory

Only $260 or so but every little helps, first tournament victory for ages. Hopefully I can push on from here.

ooooh I've blown a gasket haha

Disappointed in myself

I feel I am playing well on the cyber felt and getting some nice deep runs but my volume is awful. I just can't seem to motivate myself to play sometimes. For example, last night I had some deep runs in a couple of MTT's and cashed but only small, and last night I thought to myself *tomorrow I will play plenty of MTT's and get that final table*. Tomorrow finally comes and what have I done with myself?

Well, I got up really late totally ignoring about 7 phone calls from people trying to get me to go to work, thinking to myself that I will make more money at the poker tables later on than I will at work! I finally drag my ass out of bed and have a wander round to the parents house hoping to scrounge some lunch and I wasn't disappointed when pater made me an omelette. My big mistake was sitting down after lunch and putting the TV on, because I watched Newcastle vs Aston Villa and Chelsea vs Man Utd scum in the football which wasted my afternoon although it was enjoyable viewing! I then got asked to stay for dinner, I wanted to say no but roast chicken just sounded too appealing. I then sat back on the settee and watched countryfile (some quite attractive presenters in it these days!) and then the darts world cup which England won. I even wanted Phil Taylor to win for a change, the fat condescending prick...

After going round pre lunch time I have only just got back and it is nearly time for bed, and all my poker plans have gone out the window. It is frustrating because I have work tomorrow, and there's another massive football match on skysports which I definately want to watch (come on Spurs!) at night, so it will be Tuesday now before I get the chance to play. I always play best when I have a bit of continuity, time off just leads to me forgetting all the things I was doing well. Sometimes I feel I would rather do anything than play poker, it is not that I don't enjoy the game because I do, I think it is more a fear of failure. I just need to get on with it, to Tuesday! PMA!!

When I saw this, I just thought WOW

Its a new month soon

JUST SAYING

Bink

Only a $2.50 turbo but just feels good to win something:



I was on my last buy in and had seriously been considering having an extended break from the game, not because of the huge amounts I am losing as I am only playing small stakes mostly, but because it is time consuming and I was getting bored of the endless bad beats as I neared the money. I was just thinking to myself last night, WTF am I doing, I could be doing something much more useful with my time. When you add up the cumulative sessions playing poker, and for me this is probably at least 5 years playing on and off, it must add up to a huge amount of time playing, weeks/months, I don't know. All I do know is I will never get this time back. The more annoying thing is I don't have much to show for it, If I had a huge bank balance from winning endless tournaments it wouldn't be a waste of time at all.

I know, I know, how morbid. Now I have a dilemma, 49 buy ins at the $2.50 turbo's... I had 3 buyins this morning and if I hadn't won anything that would have been it for a while, but to actually win one, and convincingly too showing huge amounts of aggression... These could be a good game for me, I haven't played that many but I have done OK in them from a small sample, and there is scope to play higher if I do well. The problem as always with me is sticking to one game and that is what I need to strive to do. Maybe it is fate that I won when I was going to quit, we will just have to wait and see, only time will tell...

Read Read Read Read Read Read Learn Learn Learn Learn Learn Learn Win Win Win Win Win Win

Lots of deep runs as I mentioned in my last post, and nothing has changed, but I am aware of my passivity late on in tournaments. Whilst others are getting bigger stacks, my chips are dwindling away. I am aware of it at the time, but I am sticking to my game, nice and solid. If I get short I know how to play. It's all dependant on cards really, if I get the cards I might cash as I have a couple of times recently. I need to start playing more hands and start winning more uncontested pots in the latter stages to take me to the next level. I remember doing this in the past, raising suited aces, suited connectors, small pairs, various other hands from late position when there has been no action. I can remember having near double figures in final tables in the month, I was playing regularly and getting my rewards. This is a long time ago now, my game has been on a steady deterioration really for years, or maybe the players are just better?!? Either way, the cashes have just become more and more less frequent. There is nothing stopping me from making a killing really apart from my ability, I have the time to play, I've no wife, no kids, work is drying up and I have the hunger to play but there is one big thing I am missing - the desire to learn. I am one lazy bastard, I lack motivation. I am not stupid, with a bit of application I could become a competant player again, I just don't seem to have this at the moment. I haven't really had any desire to learn since university, I got so sick of exams and revision that it seems to have left a lasting impression on me and transferred to everyday life. I remember saying to my mates in year 3 after my final exam that I was never going to do anymore exams again, I'm done with learning!

Well it seems I wasn't wrong, that is years ago now and I haven't learnt anything since of note. I am stuck in a dead end job because I can't be arsed applying for anything else. I just got used to the money every week and happy with my lot, no motivation to improve myself at all. I can't stick to any fitness regime or healthy eating, I just have no motivation or dedication at all. Poker is just the same, I can't be arsed to learn and improve myself and deserve everything I get, which is fuck all lately. I mentioned a couple of posts back about reading Dan Harringtons books to improve my endgame, but I think I read one page. I make myself sick sometimes.

The problem is I get all these negative feelings at this time of night after winning fuck all again and sinking a few beers, but in the morning I forget how angry I was at my predicament the previous night. If I could just bottle up my anger at myself that I feel now and have a drink of it tomorrow morning, I might actually get the books out and have a read, and get back into good habits. I think one of the main problems is that I don't need the money, I have nothing I want to buy. I have a nice car, my own house that is mortgaged but I am managing the payments fine. I could do with a new drive and the back gardens a mess but tbh it's not like I want to grind the poker to earn money to pay for it, it can be done now or it can be done in a few years time I'm not really all that interested. If I won a few thousand dollars, I wouldn't know what to do with it. I still don't like wasting my money though and it is upsetting me that I keep depositing and not getting anywhere. I guess I would just like to win money and save it because you never know when you are going to need it!

Probably just been waffling but fuck it, here's a couple of things I've been listening to recently to leave ya with, first a live version of Birdy's new one:



And this is fucking awesome, Queen from live aid:



Laters

Just when you need to run good...

Still playing when I can really, and still having lots of deep runs. I have had 1 final table since my last post, but had to leave the game because I had agreed to go and meet someone at a certain time which was kinda frustrating. I know you shouldn't start a game if you are not going to be able to finish it, but it just went on foreverrrrr, I am sure an hour passed at the final table and nobody got eliminated... think I finished 6th or 7th.

Anyway, I just had another deep run finishing 51st/1239 running my measly AA into Q8, I should know better to play such poor hands and of course he flopped trip 8's and I was gone. Serves me right, I shall fold it pre flop in future.

I shall keep persevering anyway, I think my best chances are on ipoker with the smaller fields. I can definately sense a big cash coming!

Laters

Wasting my time

I am not wasting my time playing poker, hell no! I am wasting my time playing poker incredibly badly. People are making a killing playing the tournaments on iPoker, I just looked up a couple on sharkscope that I had seen on my tables, one had $40k profit from around 4000 games, another had $16k profit from a measly 300 MTT's. There is no reason that cannot be me, absolutely none at all. All I need to do is sort out my endgame as it continuously lets me down. I have just bubbled two MTT's after getting myself in great positions once again with solid aggressive poker. It is a recurring theme finishing just short of the money, or minimum cashing and I know myself that I am playing badly. I fritter away my chips, play too many pots out of position, get my chips in bad too often, etc, etc. I just don't know what I am doing in the latter stages these days, I've forgotten everything I ever knew. So it is time to sort it out and get studying instead of being lazy, I am wasting a great opportunity of a substantial second income. Dan Harrington's books seem as good a place to start as any...

Trying something different

My last couple of poker sessions I have been playing the 180 player turbo's on Jokerstars. I deposited a meagre $25 to give me 10 games at the $2.50 games to try them out and I must admit I am really enjoying them. One minute your a big stack, then your a small stack, then your a big stack again, the way your fortunes alter in the latter stages in these is quite mind boggling, because the stacks relative to the blinds mean it is generally just push/shove poker. You obviously need to suck out quite a lot to win one of these, but I have done OK, with 3 good runs in my short sample, with 2 cashes, a 16th and a 6th. The thing I like about these is they are cheap and aren't damaging my life bankroll and there is scope to move upto bigger buyins if I do well, as traffic is good at higher buyins unlike some of the European sites where traffic can be shit.

So I guess I shall just persevere with these for the timebeing and try and enjoy them, and hopefully I can make a few $'s also!

Keep your head up, keep your heart strong.

I have a really depressing post written down on my word processor but I feel in a lighter mood now than I did earlier. Poker hadn't been going good (too much tinkering with my game after a couple of none cashes, when there was nothing wrong with my game) and life in general isn't great with work drying up and probably going to have to look for another job. There are plenty worse off though, I shouldn't be all doom and gloom all the time. I am striving to get fit and lose a bit of weight (about a stone hopefully) and I feel better for going to the gym, even though I haven't lost anything yet I feel much fitter. I also seem to have got my game back together in the 6 player turbo's, turning $5.50 into $52.50 single tabling $5.50 games, just concentrating on playing well, probably around 8 to 10 games or so in total. At the end of the day I don't need to multi table these if I can consistently win in them, for example if I had been playing the $22 games and had the same win rate I would have won $200 today. I would be delighted with this, or even half of it per day!! Looking back to a couple of posts back I wrote how I should stop playing these games because I am rubbish at them, but seriously, they should be beatable if you can play consistently solid poker. I realise this now, stop moaning and get on with it John FFS!

I'll leave you with this lovely song. Positive mental attitude!

I need to stop posting drunk

Sober post coming tomorrow, as I am drunk again.

I want to be a Multi Table grinder

I want to make money from playing lots of poker tournaments over the internet. I have the game, I think. I make some bad decisions but you can't get them all right. What I need to do is start playing at around 5 or 6pm and start registering for the $5 and $10 games, and get a few on the go. My game is not that complicated that this should be a huge burden on me, at the moment I am just lazy. I would rather play 1 table and bang out the music and get pissed, or do something like champ manager or angry birds on my phone on the side. I guess to summise, I need to get more professional. I can manage 4 tables, I should do this regularly when I am not working (which is quite a lot recently). I just need to crack on really. I have gotten into so many great positions recently, only to lose a huge pot with the best hand and get sucked out on. My game is there, I just need to up the volume to reduce the variance. I also need to stop playing the 6 player turbo's!!!! I am shite at them...

I have a question, for anyone who may be reading. You (me) raise in lateish position, and the SB says 'I've had enough, cya later guys' and goes all in. You call and the wanker bastard bitch shows AK, is this cheating? This is a hypothetical situation of course...................

If Carlsberg did river cards

Never really been one for folding Kings pre flop. And what a river! Lovely

Where one should focus ones energies:

Sharkscope of ones Donkament and Sit and Gay results:



As can be seen from the image above, dear readers, all the energy expended on SNG Turbo's has been a big fat waste of time. I may or may not be in slight profit due to rakeback only. MTT's though are an altogether different kettle of fish:



As can be seen from the graph above, one cashes with some regularity although I dread to think of the amount of games I've donked out of when playing poorly. They are obviously (to me anyway) the easiest way to make money from the game. The big problem has been volume, it has probably taken me years to play 281 tournaments on this account, prior to donking SNG's on iPoker I had been donking out of them on Full Tilt, only stopping when it ceased to exist. If I could just focus my energies into playing them more often I might actually make some money, the results are there in black and white. It is just so soul destroying when you get donked out on after hours of perseverance which tends to set me back a bit, for example the 7 2 hand in my previous post. It sent me on mini tilt in subsequent tournies and I have hardly played for a couple of weeks. I managed 2nd/107 today though for $171, which was nice. I was poor heads up but I shall put it down to rustiness.

Must play more tournaments!

Laters

A bit frustrating

When you get to a final table and this happens. It had all been going wonderfully till then, chip leader as we hit the final table and out in 6th eventually. WTF is he doing, 1 to call raise and 2 - go all in with 7 2 after I C bet on the flop. This shit always happens to me, makes me wonder what's the point. Big fat waste of time.