Disappointed in myself

I feel I am playing well on the cyber felt and getting some nice deep runs but my volume is awful. I just can't seem to motivate myself to play sometimes. For example, last night I had some deep runs in a couple of MTT's and cashed but only small, and last night I thought to myself *tomorrow I will play plenty of MTT's and get that final table*. Tomorrow finally comes and what have I done with myself?

Well, I got up really late totally ignoring about 7 phone calls from people trying to get me to go to work, thinking to myself that I will make more money at the poker tables later on than I will at work! I finally drag my ass out of bed and have a wander round to the parents house hoping to scrounge some lunch and I wasn't disappointed when pater made me an omelette. My big mistake was sitting down after lunch and putting the TV on, because I watched Newcastle vs Aston Villa and Chelsea vs Man Utd scum in the football which wasted my afternoon although it was enjoyable viewing! I then got asked to stay for dinner, I wanted to say no but roast chicken just sounded too appealing. I then sat back on the settee and watched countryfile (some quite attractive presenters in it these days!) and then the darts world cup which England won. I even wanted Phil Taylor to win for a change, the fat condescending prick...

After going round pre lunch time I have only just got back and it is nearly time for bed, and all my poker plans have gone out the window. It is frustrating because I have work tomorrow, and there's another massive football match on skysports which I definately want to watch (come on Spurs!) at night, so it will be Tuesday now before I get the chance to play. I always play best when I have a bit of continuity, time off just leads to me forgetting all the things I was doing well. Sometimes I feel I would rather do anything than play poker, it is not that I don't enjoy the game because I do, I think it is more a fear of failure. I just need to get on with it, to Tuesday! PMA!!